To my little brothers and sisters

To my little brothers and sisters:

Do not fear, for you will not be ashamed; do not be discouraged, for you will not suffer disgrace; for you will forget the shame of your youth.  (Isaiah 54:4a)

These words were written to people who felt similar to you: alone, harassed, exiled, and powerless. Their identity had been more than questioned. It had been shattered by the merciless hands of their enemies. Hope was distant, and faltering on life-support.

But, still the prophets spoke. The future demanded to be heard, and its message was this: Yes, it sucks now. But now is not forever.

You have heard this before. You need to hear it again. Life is growth. You will grow, and in that process, you will learn to love yourself even deeper and more profoundly than you do now. And when you look the mirror and see that love reflecting in your own eyes, then these words from Isaiah will be true in your life.

You won’t be afraid. You won’t be ashamed. You won’t be discouraged. You won’t suffer disgrace. For when you find your strong self-love, you will forget the shame of your youth. That constant quest for approval and affection will be mitigated by you. And, the true beauty of self-love is that no one can steal it from you. No one can bully it out of you.

Until that day comes, remember these words from God:

Do not fear, for I have redeemed you; I have called you by name and you are mine. When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and through the rivers, they shall not overwhelm you; when you walk through fire you shall not be burned, and the flame shall not consume you. Because you are precious in my sight, and honored, and I love you. (Isaiah 43:1b, 2, 4a)

I wish I could take the pain from you. I can’t. My gift is this: I love you, even though I don’t know you. My heart is for you, and my prayer is for your happiness.

Almighty God, you love all your creation. Teach us to follow your example, and love each other. Help us when we can’t, and strengthen us when we suffer at the hands of others. Amen.

A Word for the Wise

Like a gold ring in a pig’s snout is a beautiful woman without good sense. Proverbs 11:22

Yes, beauty is attractive. We all want it. Our houses are filled with beautiful things, and our books are filled with beautiful ideas. Our baths are scented with beautiful oils and our trucks have beautiful mud flaps. The generally held belief–whether openly acknowledged or not–is that more beauty is better that less beauty.

But the search for beauty is a dangerous quest, and many have replaced true wealth for false treasure. This search is so deeply ingrained in our communal psyche that even as I write this entry, I think, “But not all beauty is bad! Searching…even holding out…for beauty is not inherently bad…because its not like I’m saying ugly is evil…right?”

No, beauty is not bad. Just like a gold ring is not bad. That’s the wisdom of this proverb. A gold ring could be the symbol of strong, life-shaping love. A gold ring could be the reminder of a failed attempt at committed partnership. A gold ring could simply be covered in pig snot.

In each of the cases, the gold ring is tempered by its placement. And this is the case with beauty. Beauty is never alone.

Remember that the next time you desire something beautiful. Before you invite that beauty into your life, determine what else is tagging along. Trying to make a prayer more beautiful can easily make it insincere. Trying to make a story more beautiful can easily make it a lie. Trying to make yourself more beautiful can easily deny your individuality and humanity.

Don’t wind up in pig snot.

Prodigal Children

It is difficult to watch friends and loved ones wander through life without a spiritual center. Many of my GLBT friends do not actively participate in a religious community or in a spiritual discipline. This is understandable. Most GLBT’s have been excluded or made to feel unwelcome by the seemingly anti-homosexual ideologies of various religious/spiritual institutions.

Of course, I want everyone to believe what I believe, and find the same joys and comforts that I do from my spiritual disciplines and religious community. But that is an unrealistic expectation. Life is a journey–however cliché that may sound–and I cannot expect for everyone to be at the same mile marker with me.

One concept that helps me is to think of the parable of the prodigal son: Luke 15:11-32. Sometimes people need to walk away from the faiths and philosophies of their childhood. In the parable, the son had to leave home to learn how to appreciate home. I think many people, GLBTs included, need to dissociate themselves from the God they envisioned in childhood. It is through shedding those old ideas that they can grow to understand religion and spirituality for themselves.

This process played out beautifully in my own life, and I believe it can happen in the lives of others as well. I like to think of it as healthy, transitional atheism/agnosticism. As tempting as it may be to try and rush this phase in others, I think we could all take a page from the father’s book in the parable of the prodigal son. He lets the son go; he lets the son live and make his own choices; he lets the son come back without judgement or ridicule.

This is how we need to treat others. Let them live and learn at their own pace and calling. When they turn to us for spiritual guidance and knowledge, lend a helping hand and a listening ear. But we should never try and force religion on someone, no matter how much joy and comfort it brings to our own lives.

It’s hard to watch the road everyday for their return. But that’s what the Father does. Let’s be glad that the road can always lead home.